It hurts.

Keep calm, you can tell everything in front of me. You don't know what truly I feel, do you?
Well, it was my fault, I want you guys to understand me without telling the truth. But honestly, it hurts for sure. It hurts for always being a (good) pretender. Pretending that I'm really fine to hear about them. Pretending that....everything's okay. Maybe they'll know someday. I won't tell anything, but time will.